Tag Archive | pain

There’s a girl reading this who is crying right now.

Jul4

I don’t know your name, or why you’re crying, but I do know a God who sees your pain, understands it, and has caught every single tear that’s ever fallen from your eyes.

You number my wanderings; Put my tears into Your bottle; Are they not in Your book?-Psalm 56:8

I have heard your prayer, I have seen your tears; surely I will heal you.-2 Kings 20:5

So then, since we have a great High Priest who has entered heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to what we believe. This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin. So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.-Hebrews 4:14-16

Whoever sinned against you, understand that Jesus died for that person, and He died for you too. We’ve all messed up, we all hurt each other and in return hurt God. But He loves us so much that He sent Someone perfect to show us how we are to treat one another, and more importantly, to reconcile us to Himself. Something beautiful Jesus said is forever etched in my mind:

“These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may remain in you, and that your joy may be full.  This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.”-John 15:11

There is Someone who can love you perfectly, and bring you joy like no one else on this planet can. Over 2,000 years ago He left heaven and died for every mistake you would ever make so He can prove His love for you. This is one Man you don’t want to walk away from Him. He’s waiting to heal your broken heart. Let Him in. From someone who’s been where you are, take it from me: you will not regret it.

With love,

Natasha

Object of sexual abuse, to a Princess of incalculable worth (Spoken Word Poem)

Nov16

Although there were times where it should have/could have happened, I have never been sexually abused. But I wrote this after witnessing an extremely sexual spoken word poem by a woman that was very graphic and self-degrading. It made me wonder why she had become that way. Not that being sexual is bad, but outside of marriage it is. And she basically objectified herself so it moved me to write this.

 

Yeah, you see;

The doves on my chest, the curves on my waist, down to the slopes of my hips and then, the thickness of my thighs.

Yes every inch of me perfectly penciled out for the sketchpad in your mind.

This drawing doesn’t even need to be that descriptive for you to get an image, a vision of you on top of me.

Or would you rather a queen to sit on that throne?

Freeze.

A little girl, alone in her house with her uncle; lying down, pretending to be asleep believing the lie that she’ll be protected by her dreams.

The knob turns, her heart skips a beat,

it’s just a few seconds ’till he’s by her feet.

He breathes, the warm air coating her neck,

she cries, knowing it’s not over yet.

A rugged hand covers her mouth now the stench of alcohol permeates her breath.

He loosens his belt as he takes her on a ride from earth to hell.

Freeze.

I bite my lip, you wink your eye

there’s only one thought on your mind, and I don’t stop to ponder why,

knowing there’s a tiny voice inside that just…might…

You drop me off, I invite you in.

Who said on the first night you can’t let a guy swim?

Skip the drinks, you’ve had your share,

straight to the bedroom ’cause I’m already sore from the stairs;

clothes off in seconds we’re bare–

Whats his name again?

Screw it, who cares.

You leave.

Only to call a few more times when you want a quick fix.

Yes, thats all I am to you:

a slut, a whore, a bitch.

And when I think about that it suddenly hits me:

My body’s not a temple it’s a frisbee;

flung into the mouths of dogs and then left slobbered on and messy,

I realize: damn I’m empty.

Sex isn’t pleasure its abuse

when we take out of the marital context and misuse.

STDS, AIDS, abortion and rape are all the consequences of our dire mistakes.

“Be safe” is what they preach,

when “be pure” is what they really should teach!

For God made Eve for Adam not Lisa, Maria, Teresa, and Tia.

For therefore a man should leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife,

and they shall become

one

flesh.

I have heard and found it to be true,

the Father can cleanse you of any sin,

so choose forgiveness now and finally walk away from this battle with Satan and win.

watch the video of this spoken word poem.

http://youtu.be/VqR7Vw8wECw

Can your affection be bought?

Nov1

A guy flashes some big bills, rocks a car that costs the same amount as an apartment, only dines at expensive restaurants, dresses in Armani Exchange; is this enough to buy your affection?  Is he kind:  not really.  Is he caring:  not much.  Does he treat you with respect:  not neccassarily.  If this is you, honey, I’m preachin’ to you!

There was a woman who came into the restaurant the other night where I work as a greeter, and she was with this Scrooge-faced man who–when she tried to put her arm around him–shoved her off for who knows what reason.  She just smiled and played off his rude reaction.  She then gave his arm a hug before quickly letting go and peering at her menu.  It was sad, I can’t describe the image as well with words, but man, I felt bad for her.  She was a beautiful woman and seemed very sweet, and this guy was all on his smart phone half the time, not really engaging her.  She appeared to be more of an accessory than a girl he admired.

“But Natasha, you’ve only seen them together once.”  Either way, I know of girls who are with guys that treat them indifferently and the girl is all hung up on the dude.  Why be with someone who doesn’t treat you with love and appreciation?  Why must you settle for a guy who doesn’t know how to love a woman or is too self-centered to consider the idea?

“How precious is Your steadfast love, O God! The children of men take refuge and
put their trust under the shadow of Your wings.”-Psalm 36:7

“But God shows and clearly proves His love for us by the fact that while we
were still sinners, Christ died for us.”-Romans 5:8

“But God–so rich is He in His mercy! Because of and in order to satisfy the
great and wonderful and intense love with which He loved us.” -Ephesians 2:4

This is the way God loves you and this is the way He calls for you to be loved:

“And walk in love, [esteeming and delighting in one another] as Christ loved us
and gave Himself up for us.”-Ephesians 5:2

“Love one another with brotherly affection [as members of one family], giving
precedence and showing honor to one another.”-Romans 12:10

“Love does no wrong to one’s neighbor [it never hurts anybody]. Therefore love meets all the requirements and is the fulfilling of the Law.” Romans 13:10

“I give you a new commandment: that you should love one another. Just as I have loved you, so you too should love one another.”-John 13:34

Here’s the clincher:

“Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily. It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God’s love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong].” 1 Corinthians 13:4-5

If you’re with someone who does not love you as previously described, you need to get with it and get OUT! I’m not saying there’s a perfect man out there (no one is perfect), but I am saying there’s a man out there who will try his best to love you the way God calls him to.  But before you can get that kind of prince, you have to give your heart to the only King who will never reject it or abuse it.  Don’t waste another day of pain and sad hopes for something more.  God is more, and He’s waiting to give you everything you need.

                                                        With love,

                                                                         Natasha

“This person will make me happy.”

Oct10

“When we choose someone to be with, we should choose someone who is willing to make us feel as though we are alive every single day. Waking up to someone who we deserve will put a smile on our face every morning, and a smile on our face every night before we go to sleep. Someone we deserve will have us feeling alive inside, will be somebody that we are really attracted to, not only physically, but mentally, and spiritually. Don’t settle for what may seem okay, settle for being in love and being with someone who only wants to see you happy!” -Karla Dawn Robleza

*CAR SCREECHING TO A HALT SOUND*  NEWS FLASH:  THIS GIRL IS WRONG! 

When you’re first dating a guy, he may make you, “feel alive everyday,” for about…two months, tops (unless he’s like my husband who was able to do so for a few months longer than that).  Then, when reality hits, aka, life, you realize a person cannot, does not, and is not supposed to be the fire of your life, what keeps you going, what sustains you.  No human being can ever accomplish that feat.  They will never put a smile on your face every morning or every night.  Someday, they will mess up, and other days they will mess up too, just as you are prone to messing up.  They will say or do something hurtful.  Now, if you placed an unrealistic expectation on this person, like Karla did, then you will be devastated when they fail you.

Don’t place a person under such unfair pressure.  Sure they can make you smile and you can have many wonderful memories with a person, but they won’t always make you happy.  We human beings are pretty selfish.  We want ourselves to be happy first, then whoever we’re with to be happy and that, not all the time.  For us to come to a place where we consider others before ourselves is very difficult and quite frankly, unnatural.  How we can come to a place where we try (but inevitably will fail plenty of times), to consider others before we consider ourselves and with no hidden motives i.e. hoping they’ll praise how good we are or like us more, is by allowing God to do a work in our hearts.

We can’t make ourselves unselfish, it goes against our nature and is almost painful to do in our own strength.  But when we come to a place where we humble our hearts and believe we love because God first loved us and get to know Him, He can start to show us His heart and inspire us to pursue being like Him.  Before I got to know God, I never knew how selfish I was.  Even my very prayers were mostly, if not entirely, selfish.  It wasn’t until He answered a desperate cry for help one night that I began to pay close attention to who He was and began seeking Him out.  I did and daily, even until today, He revealed His heart to me.  I, along with my family, began to see changes very soon.  I was more patient with my mom instead of blaming my bitter attitude on her, “being annoying,” and would pray for things that I wouldn’t personally benefit from.  I’m not tooting my own horn, I am what I am now because of God.  Whatever good is in me, is only because I’ve asked Him into my heart and He now dwells in it.  And just yesterday a mirror was held up to me and I realized how selfish I was being in a certain matter.

So, no one’s perfect, nor ever will be.  There are times where I think of my own needs before my husbands (actually more often than I like).  I say this so that you understand a person can make you happy, but isn’t the key to your happiness.  I laid that burden on every boy I ever dated (and man there were a lot), and my, how many heart-breaks resulted because of those unrealistic expectations.  It wasn’t until that desperate cry that night that I said, “God You first now, not guys,” and I discovered He and He alone can give me complete joy.  He and He alone can satisfy every need my heart holds.  He gives and takes away.  He opens doors no one can close and closes doors no one can open.  Most importantly, He loves me like no person, no man, ever could.  My daily joy stems from knowing that, not the wonderful husband I wake up to every morning.  Heck, I had so much joy before I met my husband I told my sister when she was pressuring me to meet him, “I don’t want a guy, Jesus is enough.”  I pray you save yourself from another heartbreak and come to discover the same.

With abundant love,

Natasha

Every adulteress has her story.

Sep13

Okay, this isn’t so much a, “pity the sneaky adulteress woman and her home-wrecking ploys,” but a, “believe it or not, chances are she has a messed up history.”

Pretty much every little girl dreams of someday following the footsteps of their favorite Disney princess, including the adulteress.  Even she dreamed of being a fairytale princess with a dream prince of her own that she’d live happily ever after with.  No little girl says to herself, “Someday, I’m going to ruin someone’s marriage and steal their prince.”  It’s not how we’re wired.

Chances are, somewhere along the line, this unfortunate princess was robbed of her purity or abandoned by her king, that is,  her daddy.  She MAY have once been the victim of an adulteress herself.  Her once innocent and soft heart turns black and hard.  She harbors anger and shame and now her hopeless heart, filled with hate, is leading her.

“The heart is deceitful and wicked, who can know it?”-Jeremiah 17:9

She has lost sight of her once young and hopeful heart.  She has lost her dreams of someday finding a prince.  Her heart tells her, “It’s over, give up. You are worthless now. You’ll never be loved.”  She believes this lie and a root of bitterness festers and grows until she no longer cares for herself and especially no one else.  She is going to get whatever pleasure and satisfaction she can, whatever cheap imitation of love she can feel.  She envies the married woman from a distance and covets her husband closely.

“He must be a prince, he committed his life to a woman.  I want to feel what she feels…”  She is somehow tricked into believing this man who is willing to cheat on his wife is going to be the prince she never got.  And before you know it, she is on the prowl.   She cares not what people say about her.  The whispers don’t affect her anymore.  She acts like an animal, she loses her soul.

If only she knew that she was loved.  That Someone still viewed her as a precious and priceless gem.   That long ago, a Prince walked this earth, knowing someday she would too.  He knows one day she’d lose hope and throw away her crown.  In a desperate yearning and out of passionate love,  He does everything He can to someday buy that crown back.  He fights for her soul like no one ever has before or since.  He does what no man has for her and most probably never will.  He dies for her.

Jesus returned to the Mount of Olives, but early the next morning he was back again at the Temple. A crowd soon gathered, and he sat down and taught them. As he was speaking, the teachers of religious law and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in the act of adultery. They put her in front of the crowd.

“Teacher,” they said to Jesus, “this woman was caught in the act of adultery. The law of Moses says to stone her. What do you say?”

They were trying to trap him into saying something they could use against him, but Jesus stooped down and wrote in the dust with his finger. They kept demanding an answer, so he stood up again and said, “All right, but let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone!” Then he stooped down again and wrote in the dust.

When the accusers heard this, they slipped away one by one, beginning with the oldest, until only Jesus was left in the middle of the crowd with the woman. Then Jesus stood up again and said to the woman, “Where are your accusers? Didn’t even one of them condemn you?”

“No, Lord,” she said.

And Jesus said, “Neither do I. Go and sin no more.”

As the story goes, that woman ended up being Mary Magdalene:  no longer known for being an adulteress, but a woman who loved and followed Jesus.

I don’t what role you’re playing, if you’re the adulteress or the victim of one, but either way, you were and always will be dearly loved.  There lives a Man who died to place that crown on you once again.  May you throw off the rags and put on the gown again.  As Dawn Michele from Fireflight says, run away from the lifestyle you’ve chosen and be able to say, “I’m not what I have done, I’m what I’ve overcome.”

With love,

Natasha

I can’t eat and look at what she’s she wearing.

Sep8

Ah, insecurity. That dreadful, dreadful word. I wish it were an object so I can stomp on it with my foot and then crush it with a falling piano or something.  As far as I’m concerned, EVERY girl walking this earth struggles with insecurity. Some more than others, but all in all, we all have dealt with it and will deal with it again some time in our lives.

I’m going to break this up into three different sections: Girls who struggle with insecurity sometimes, somewhat often, and every darn day. So you can skip the others and go straight to the section you relate to most.

“I’m pretty secure in my own skin. It’s only sometimes that I doubt my appearance.”

Fortunately for you, this is normal. I don’t think there’s a single woman out there who never feels insecure and if there is, give me her name and cell phone number. I’m very happy for you
that this isn’t much of a struggle for you. But do me a favor, encourage a girl you know suffers big with this. Let her know what you like or love about her and have her read psalm 139.

“I don’t obsesses about my insecurities, but I’m definitely not confident.”

Find yourself at times, comparing yourself to other women and finding in whatever it is your comparing, they got it better than you do? Here’s the thing, there’s always going to be a girl that’s
prettier or has a nicer body than you. But for every guy that likes that body type and those features, there’s a guy that doesn’t. And here’s the best thing about that: the guy that’s for you
is going to be attracted to you and is going to want you, not the pretty thin blonde you’re comparing yourself to. I’ve had my moments where I knew my husband thought a girl was pretty, but since he’s a prince (a man who, because he has a relationship with God, loves, respects and treats me right), he doesn’t stare or even mention it to me. His eyes are right back on whatever it is he’s doing or on me and he never makes me feel like he wishes I was different in any way. When God places your prince in your path, he won’t make you feel that way either. Know that she has her own imperfections
and insecurities as well and then force yourself to think of something else. Thank God for the eyes you have no matter how plain you think they are. Shoot, thank Him for the nose you have come some people don’t even have one of those! If you’re unhealthily overweight, stop moping and start exercising. Put down whatever it is that’s causing you to gain weight because it’s not good for your health or your mind.  If you got some curves, some hips and a big booty, be grateful. There’s a girl with a small butt wishing she had yours.

“I hate the skin I’m in.”

Okay, those people who bullied you, are uglier than they ever called you and did so because they have their own issues they didn’t know how to deal with. The rejection you’ve felt from a father or mother had nothing to do with who you are. They were not mature, they were as selfish as selfish could be and probably went through rejection with their own family as well. Pray for them. Don’t internalize and personalize the rejection, externalize it and bring it up to God in prayer.  Pray for their healing and for yours. Pray, pray, pray. I can’t stress this enough. Get around loving people. If you don’t know where to find them, look for a church with a good reputation and check out some of their small groups (aka home groups) or youth groups. Whoever treats you wrongly, pray for them. Ask God to help you see yourself the way He does, not the way anyone else does. In the end, their opinion of you does not matter. You’re beautiful, prized, cherished and loved, not because they say so, but because God does. If you don’t believe me, I encourage you to pick up a Bible and check for yourself. If you’re thinking, “Well, I’m not Christian and don’t believe or am not sure if the Bible really
is inspired by God,” I challenge you to read it anyway and see what the God of the Bible says about you. There’s lots of messed up religions out there that say you’re an evil alien that needs taming or you’re just an accidental animal with no purpose. The Bible says you were made in the image of God Himself and were created for the sole purpose of knowing Him, being loved by Him, loving
Him in return and loving others. That you do have a special and specific purpose that only God knows and you can know if you seek it out. You have gifts. Whether that be singing, writing, drawing, communicating, being an ace at math, a great organizer, whatever it is, you’re unique and specially designed. As my mom-in-law so beautifully put it, “Princesses come in all packages.”

With sincere love,

                              Natasha

The Never-ending Battle between Spirit and Flesh

Aug13

Your conscience:  Don’t do it! You know this is wrong. 

Your body:  But it feels so good! You know you want to.

Your conscience:  You’re going to regret it.

Your body:  Just this once, I won’t do it again. 

And the winner is…

In the above situation, how many times has your body [flesh] won?  Be honest with yourself.  Okay, now that you’re being real, I will be too:  you’re not alone.  We women are extremely emotional beings.  In many circumstances, we lack just as much self-control as men, if not more.  We let our emotions run wild and our actions run right along with them.  You may not want to, but try and remember when you lost your virginity.  Did you question if you should?  Were you unsure as to whether is was right or wrong?  Did you ever find yourself making excuses as to why it was okay?  Or maybe it wasn’t planned;  how did you feel after the fact?  Did you regret it?  Did you question if it was the right thing to do?  I’m going to pause for a moment because I may be writing to a victimized woman.  If you were, none of these questions apply to you.  What that person did to you wasn’t your fault.  You are still valuable, you are still beautiful (“Wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.”-Psalm 51:7)  Now, back to you ladies who chose to lose it:  if you answered yes to any of those questions, I’m speaking to you.

In most cases, if you lost your virginity, but now you’re with a different guy, you’re still having sex.  Maybe your mentality is, “Well, I already lost it so why stop now?” or “This guy is different” or “I feel loved when I do” or the pain of it not working out with the first guy you gave yourself to has you thinking carelessly e.g. “I’m not worth waiting for now.”  Let’s break it down:

1.)  ”I already lost it so why stop now?”

It’s proven scientifically that the more partners you have the less your brain secretes oxytocin (a chemical that causes a woman to want to bond more with her partner).  I.e., when you finally settle down and get married someday, the ability to bond with that special man is damaged.

Question:  Why do our own brains,  the most important muscle in our bodies, where all the decision making and thought processes come from, prohibit us from enjoying sex with more than one person?

There’s a book called, “For young women only” and in it they ask guys the questions we ladies want to know the most.  Here’s a survey question:

“If you and your partner move to a sexual relationship, even if you loved her, would you (or did you) ever find yourself wondering whether you could totally trust her?”

64% of guys said, “Yes, I would (or did) find myself wondering.” Only 36% said they didn’t.

Raise your hand if you like having trust issues in a relationship!

2.)  ”This guy is different.”

Question:  Did you ever think that about the guy you lost it to?

3.)  ”I feel loved when I do.”

Here’s another survey question from the book, “For young women only”:

“Whether or not you are currently involved with a girlfriend, if you were to be in a heavy make out situation with a willing partner who was not a long-term girlfriend, what would you primarily be feeling?”

Only 36% said, “How much I love her,” the other 64% said, “How good this feels.”

This is what one of the guys themselves said: “Girls use sex to get love, and guys use love to get sex.”

One more survey question:  ”Does moving to a sexually active relationship mean that you want to marry this girl or make a significant life commitment to her?”

66% of guys said No.

4.)  ”I’m not worth waiting for now.”

This is the last thing I’ll quote from the book:

“I’d like to marry a virgin, but seeing purity of heart is most important to me.  Everyone makes mistakes…I just want to be some girl’s hero, even if she’s totally blown it. That’s how I want to treat my future wife.”

This guy is not impossible for you to have.  I have one and I know plenty other women who have ‘em too.  We’re not any better or more special than you.  How we got men who valued us and chose to wait for us and love us, despite our past, was because we came to the point where first and foremost, our love for God grew in a way where He was sufficient.  I don’t know what you think about God or what you’ve heard about Him, but He is the greatest Lover there is.  His love and passion for us runs so deep that He, if we want Him to, will pour His love on us so completely that we won’t need a guy to feel loved.  He’ll satisfy our heart’s deepest cry and then, just because we’ve let Him and grew to love Him in return, He hand-picks a guy and sets up a plan of meeting where we don’t even have to go on EHarmony to find him.  That’s what happened to me.  Don’t get me wrong, my husband is wonderful, I couldn’t even dream him up (although I did dream of him), but he does not hold a candle to the God who loved me first.  I pray with these blogs you will understand your value and worth, won’t settle for less and realize how much you’re loved, no matter where you’ve been or where you’re at now.  God bless,

Natasha

Songs to inspire hope and healing for your hurting heart

Aug8

Self-worth, your value (struggling with self-image)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IwtcwQwgdsA&ob=av2e

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Onq4KpdZhdQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9X6h6QiFqi4&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WmcVWJ7Dnyw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mBcqria2wmg&feature=related

Overcoming guilt

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ur6Zznc407U&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gJJ5NSDiYRg

Finding forgiveness

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BFUHrXfuNU4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OLy-B9LuqMo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6CUGTIWCFyo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mmF-s9Dd83g

Got some toxic thoughts that are leading you to toxic behavior?

Jul27

So, the past two months or so have been rough.  I allowed some financial strains to get the better of me at times.  The disappointment I deflected onto my husband caused me to question for a moment if I was bipolar.  One moment I’d be nice, the next I’d get snappy.  I allowed some toxic thoughts to become toxic emotions that then turned into toxic attitudes which inevitably led to toxic behavior.  The Bible talks about, “taking every thought captive.”  I know now the amazing benefits of this notion when truly applied.  It may seem weird at first, because how many of us think, about our thoughts?  We just let it flow: the thought (stage one) creates an emotion (stage two), then an attitude (stage three), then a behavior (stage four) and nowhere in between that process do we think to stop it at stage one.  Only 5% of us realize the negative thought will lead to other negative outcomes and that it needs to be stopped.  But most of us ignore the rising smoke until it’s turned into a wild-fire.  And that, it what happened to me.

Yesterday my husband told me something in regards to our finances.  Automatically, I got a thought, an emotion and an attitude, and just acted.  One, two, three, boom.  Just like that [totally ignored the advice James gives in the Bible, “be quick to hear, SLOW to speak and SLOW to get angry.”  It wasn’t until the silence after our raised voices and the down-trodden demeanor on my husband’s face did I realize I shouldn’t have acted on my emotion which was created by my thought.  I’m quick to forgive and say sorry, but he left for work quiet and hurt.  Married women, if you are in the situation I was in yesterday, occasionally or regulary, you need to apply this principle.  And here’s the simplest way I believe to start.

After praying, I went to work.  Quite quickly, with my mindset being completely focused on my job, I was totally fine with a smile on my face as usual.  I had written a verse down, “God, create a clean heart for me and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Restore the joy of Your salvation to me, and give me a willing spirit.”  I looked over it a few times during the day and determined that when I got home, I would write my hubby a letter.  Not so much an apology, although I threw an “I’m sorry,” in there, but more importantly, a letter of support and encouragement, a letter letting him know, no matter what I said that morning, I honor and respect him.  He knows I love him, even in that moment of anger, but what he did feel, was that I disrespected him and didn’t believe in him.  Wives, wanna be on the fast-track to divorce?  Start making your man feel like you don’t respect who he is.  I’m not saying divorce is all our faults, but in most cases, the blame goes both ways.  But see, like my pastor said, the day before I hurt my husband, we wives have the power to completely build up our man and make him feel like Captain America, or the power to completely destroy him and make him feel dishonorably discharged.

I sat down and wrote him a letter, conjuring up the memories at to why I fell in love with him and all the things about him that make him great and man oh man did that spark a change in me (a good fire).  When I spoke to my husband after I got of a meeting it was like the fight earlier never even happened.  I asked him if he recieved the letter and he sure did.  He was very pleased and was like, “You really think that?” That night we had a nice time in the bedroom as well =)) and shared some good laughs and prayed together before we went to sleep. So, I HIGHLY suggest if you have been fighting with your husband to write him a respect letter. Ask nothing of him, simply tell him what you respect him for and what you’re thankful of from him.  Then, when he does something you’re not too pleased with, take that thought captive.  I already had to do that and my did it help.  It was interesting, it was like fighting myself:

“The sinful nature wants to do evil, which is just the opposite of what the Spirit wants. And the Spirit gives us desires that are the opposite of what the sinful nature desires. These two forces are constantly fighting each other, so you are not free to carry out your good intentions.”-Galatians 5:17

But, if you’re, “directed by the Spirit,” you’re not obligated to do those evil and hurtful actions towards others.  Start crowding out the bad thoughts with good ones.  How do you do that?

“Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.”-Philippians 4:8

“Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.”-Romans 1:2

In other words, it may sound old school, but read your Bible.  I suggest reading a chapter of Proverbs a day and writing down one or two verses that really speak to you.  And definitly check out what Jesus says and how he thinks and acts.  Talk about the perfect role-model and positive thinker.  He was called “Teacher” for a reason.  But even deeper than that, if you have only known Jesus as just that, simply a teacher, I suggest you cry out to Him and ask Him to be who He wants to be in your life.  With a simple invatation, He will change your world and the worlds around you.  This whole controlling your thoughts thing isn’t easy.  You need divine help.  But, like the religious leaders back then said to Jesus, “We know you are not a respecter of persons,” he really doesn’t care who you are, where you’ve been, or what you’re doing now, all He cares about is loving and wooing you.  Give Him a try and I promise, no matter how dark your world looks now, He will make it brighter than ever before.  God bless.

Bad Boys Vs. Good Guys

Jul24

I remember a time when I loved me some bad boys.  I had this jacked up motto, “I don’t like good guys because they don’t have enough problems.  If they don’t have problems, I can’t help them so what’s the point in me being their girlfriend?”  That philosophy was flipped like a olypmic gymnast.

After bad boy number fifty-something, I got fed up with the problems.  Why?  Because eventually every problematic boyfriend I had, dumped me because of their problems [or I dumped him]!  Here’s some true life examples.

EXAMPLE # 1:  JACK THE POTHEAD

Jack was hot.  He was tall, carmel skin with a touch of vanilla and long dark hair.  He was Puerto Rican/Jamaican, mysterious and seductive.  I would see him on rare occasion during lunch, knowing that he was skipping class to be there.  Something else I knew about him:  he was the go-to guy for marijuana.  I wasn’t big on the drug, but it didn’t bother me that he sold/smoked it…until we started going out.

He’d go missing for a week, two weeks in a row then randomly appear at school again.  I felt like I was going out with a not-so-friendly version of Casper the ghost.  We went out for a month and during that time hung out only three times.  Finally, I called him on the phone to confront him about it:

“It’s either me or the weed.”

“I’m sorry, I can’t give it up.”

“So we’re over then?”

“Yeah.”

EXAMPLE # 2:  DACE THE TWOFACE

Dace rocked the whole wide raver jeans, tattoos and eyebrow ring.  The typical hot bad boy.  I was immediately drawn to him.  We became official two months after we started dating.  Suddenly, many bones were pouring out the closet.  He had the most issues than any guy I had before him, but I swore I would help him with my love and that he would eventually get better.  His alter ego, Aridon, wasn’t havin’ that.  Eventually, after three break-ups, I realized his unresolved issues were too much and couldn’t possibly coexist with a healthy and lasting relationship.  And this final relationship [before my wonderful husband] was the clincher.

I realized these problematic bad boys were bringing in heavy baggage, way too heavy for me to bear.  I realized the relationships weren’t healthy, but damaging.  I understood that all the tears I shed and battles I fought to try and “help” these guys simply gave me more baggage to bring into my next relationship.  That surely wasn’t fair for the good guy out there who I would someday marry.  When my heart was crushed beyond hopeful repair is when a good guy sounded pretty dang nice.  Thankfully, I called out to the best heart Surgeon in the industry (God) and he sowed up my tattered heart in less than a week.  But my goodness do I wish I got this sooner.  What heartache it would have spared me!

When I met my hubby, I was blown away.  He had more hotness than any bad boy I wasted time on before him, but he was a sweetheart!  He swept me off my feet with his romantic antics.  No bad boy before him ever took me out to a nice restaurant, spent more than a hundred bucks on me in a single event, went out of his way to bring me lunch, take me horseback riding on the beach.  If I would have known he was going to be the one, I would have turned away from any and every guy that caught my attention and simply waited till I met him.  So, I write this for you, bad boy lover.  Here’s some learned [and essential] truths:

BAD BOYS———————————-GOOD GUYS

Not the best romancers                         Typically very good romancers

Treat you like a possession                   Treat you like a princess

Want your body stat                                Will wait for access to your body

Not always respectful to parents        Always respectful to parents

Prideful                                                         Humble

Usually more aggressive attitudes      More on the gentle side

Problematic aka trouble makers         Problem solvers

                                                                          aka peacemakers          

Just living in the moment                       Preparing for the future

Thinking in just “my girl for now”      Thinking of long-term and/or

terms                                                               eventually marriage   

Can put your life in danger                     Places you in safety

Puts your heart on the edge                    Puts your heart at ease

Confused or tainted love                          Certain and pure love

Think you love bad boys?  Think again.