Tag Archive | ex

Dating and baggage are best friends

Jul30

Baggage and dating go hand in hand. After every break-up, you carry the wounds of the past relationship into the new one. Some of you think you’ve moved on, but even if you have, there’s things that happened between you and your ex that broke trust, created bitterness, apathy, lowered your expectations for the next guy, something. I know there’s a rare few who simply didn’t “hit it off” with the guy and you both broke up for mutual reasons, however, if you were sexually active with this dude, whether it was all the way or not, you’ve bonded with him, and because of that, it’s going to be harder for you to bond with the next guy. It’s really just one big horrifically vicious cycle that produces much more pain than it does contentment. My goodness how I wish I never shared all the connections I did with exes. Some people say, “Oh, but it’s good for ‘experience.’” Experiencing what? Heart-break after heart-break? I’d rather that I had no experience and instead grow in experience with my husband (which I’d have plenty of time to since we’re planning to be together for life). Trust me, that’s the lamest excuse there is. You can grow and learn with your husband. I lost my virginity to my husband, and no, our sex wasn’t amazing in the beginning because it was painful for me, but it grew to be better and better. I was able to share that with one man, rather than go into a marriage already knowing it all.

So please ladies, save yourself and others (not to mention God), from heart break and just wait till the right guy comes along, meaning the guy that will wait for you, and honor God until marriage. Because trust me, if you just put God first in your life, make Him your first love, He will bring that man to you at the perfect time. He did for me, and plenty other girls. I will have a video with some testimonies of girls who received their prince after first making God their King in a week or two. Until then, know your worth!

With love,

             Natasha

If you think love is simply an emotion, here’s a wake up call

Sep16

I think the easiest way to disprove that love is just an emotion is by simply watching the Bachelorette or the Bachelor or any of those reality TV shows on finding “love.”  Everything on those shows is, “I feel so much for this person,” “The way I feel when I’m with them,” “He/she makes me feel so good,” ”I’ve never felt this way with anyone before.”  Usually, they say this about multiple people.  Now, princess, if you’re gonna throw the word love out there every time you feel good around a guy, you’re gonna end up like me and so many of the girls on the Bachelor:  with a broken glass heart.

How many times have you, “followed your heart,” just to end up having it drop you off in the middle of Antarctica naked and shoeless?

Most relationships are filled with emotions and void of friendship, purity and spiritual depth.  Sure our heart “flutters” when we’re around him for the first few months, but then all of sudden, fights start popping up in the relationship.  The wings of your heart are broken and now instead of fluttering your heart is falling.

“Why are we fighting so much? I thought we loved each other.”  I have to be blunt, but princess, a lot of those “love feelings” are just lust disguised as love.  Trust me, hang out with a cute enough guy for a night where he’s taken you out and romanced you and if he were to kiss you, you’ll feel pretty much the same as you do with the guy you “love.”  I understand this isn’t the case with ALL girls in a relationship, but MOST (or I’ll say, all the one’s where the girl and guy are having sex with each other), this is the case.

When you have sex with a guy, it means so much.  No matter how much a guy enjoys sex or how he’s slightly more obsessed with it than we girls tend to be, it doesn’t mean as much to him as it does to us.  It doesn’t haven’t the same effect on him.  Science proves that when men have sex with us, the chemicals released in their brains causes them to want to do it again, but when we have sex with a guy the chemicals in our brains cause us to want to bond more with him.  Sex has that effect.  You know how attached you get after you have sex with a guy?  So many girls are blinded to that.  They’re with some messed up guys, but trick themselves into believing they love him because he’s so great when in actuality, they want to be with him so bad because they’ve had sex with him and subconsciously they want to bond more and more with him (even if he sucks at life).

So, if you’re reading this and you “love” a jerk and can’t let go of the guy, you are most likely having sex with him and this is the primary reason why you can’t let him go.  Please, I am begging you, stop having sex with this dude and break up with him if you know he doesn’t treat you like a princess.  If he does treat you like a princess and nothing less, see what he says when you tell him, “I’ve decided I want to stop having sex and save my body for my future husband.”  If he runs away, LET HIM!!!  If he truly respects that, meaning: he doesn’t try to get you to come over to his place to “watch a movie,” you decide if you want to keep him or not or  back up from the relationship to focus on yourself.

There is nothing more honoring to a man than when a woman tells him, “I’ve waited for you.”  I don’t care if you’re not a virgin, it still means a lot.  My husband loved and respected me so much more knowing that I saved myself for him (and trust me, that wasn’t the plan until AFTER I was 18 and a half. It was only by God’s literal intervention that I was able to remain a virgin).  And, like studies prove, we enjoy a more frequent and better sex life since we chose to abstain before marriage.

And how about the trust factor. What! Since Jonathan and I chose to fight our feelings we don’t struggle with thoughts of cheating.  I trust my man so much.  If he refrained from having sex with me for two years despite how hot he thought I was and how much he loved me, no fifi in hoochie-cutter short shorts in the mall can seduce him.  If you’re having sex with a guy, most likely, you can’t relate to this peace of mind.

I can go on and on about the reasons why not to have sex with just some guy who is not completely committed to you, who thinks having full access to your body just because with words he calls you his, “girlfriend,” is a given.  Girl, being in a ”relationship,” is the lesser-form of committment.  Heck, the only unwritten committment in that is, “I am supposed to only be with you.”  Besides that, he can break up with you tomorrow with a simple text message.  But when a guy buys  you a ring, bows to his knee in humility, honoring you with an action that speaks so much more than, “Will you be my girl?” Then spends more money on a legal and binding contract that he will really be with you and you alone, buys a tux and wedding bands, then stands before YOUR FAMILY AND HIS and vows in front of a room with witnesses and before God Himself that he is going to treat you right and be with you until the day you die, is that not the guy who deserves to have sex with you?  But you’re gonna give yourself to the guy who just makes you feel good and asked you to be his girlfriend in some desolate place where no one saw and the only reason why people know is because you told your girl friends about it.

Princess, you’re worth more.  You know the right thing to do.  Now it’s up to you to just do it.

Ladies: Enough is Enough!

Aug31

An older, but still relevant post. Girls, get it together and know your worth! Stop settling for less, when God has the best waiting for you.

 

The other day I was in the restaurant (Houston’s where I used to work) and there were two young women there, maybe twenty-five at most, standing by the bar.  They were dressed provocatively and an older man, maybe fifty-five or so was at the bar, flirting with them.  He was rubbing his hand on one of their backs and a few minutes later when I looked again [they were standing at the bar stools right by the front desk], he had his hand on the other girl’s butt.  Later on, I saw them at a table with another older man.

Admittedly, I’ve seen this several times being that I work at a high-end restaurant and it never fails to sadden me.  Here these young ladies are, beautiful on the outside, yes, but of so much more value and worth than what they’re putting out there on display for the world to see.  They’re not many years older than me, yet why are they with these old horn-dogs and not a handsome young prince?  Do they not care for one?  Or have they, somewhere along the way, been so bruised by toads, they just gave up on finding a prince?  What if someone told them the way God sees them?  What if someone could give them a small taste of the amazing plans God planned for them before they were even born?  Would it change the course of their life?

If you’re reading this and you are one of those young ladies, maybe you’re not dating old horn-dogs, but you’ve definitly been settling for the wrong guys or selling yourself short and going as low as flat out losers, or even guys that just think they’re somebody and treat you like a rap-star groupie.  If that’s you, please listen to this.

Whatever is good and perfect comes down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the heavens. He never changes or casts a shifting shadow. He chose to give birth to us by giving us his true word. And we, out of all creation, became his prized possession.-Jame 1:17-18

For thus says the LORD of hosts: “He sent Me after glory, to the nations which plunder you; for he who touches you touches the apple of His eye. -Zechariah 2:8

I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well.-Psalm 139:14

Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes. God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure.-Ephesians 1:4-5

Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are?-Matthew 6:26

Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that in due time He may exalt you. Cast the whole of your care [all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns] once and for all on Him, for He cares for you affectionately and cares about you watchfully.-1 Peter 5:6-7

For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.-Jeremiah 29:11

There’s too many verses to put in this blog that describe the great value God sees in you, the depth of His rich love toward you, the awesome plans and promises He holds out for you as a gift.  We get so caught up sometimes.  This world is overflowing with lies.  The media saturates our mind, clouding our vision, distracting us from truth.  It tells men to degrade us, to use and abuse us, and tells us women to take the abuse and like it.  We have walked so far away from the original plan of God for our lives that depression is at its peak.  But the wonderful thing about this time is it’s the season for grace.  As long as you are alive, you have a chance to change the course of your life.  You don’t have to accept the abuse anymore.  You don’t have to settle another day.  You can discover your worth, you can discover true love.  God is waiting for us all to run into the shelter of His open arms.

Girl I’m talking to, He yearns to call you Daughter.

He desires to make you royalty.

You were made to be a princess.

You were made to be loved.  Don’t settle for less.

May you run to the arms that long to cradle you, to protect you, to care for you.

You’re a lovely temple.

You’re a work of art, created by the Master Artist of the entire universe.

Be beautiful, be joy-filled, be changed, be saved, be forgiven, be renewed, be loved.

Blast from the Past

Aug27

If you’re a serial dater like I once was, you may have a knack for re-dating an ex.  My expert advice on the subject:  DON’T DO IT!

First of all, if it didn’t work out before, what makes you think it’ll work out now?  Too many of us are hooked, snatched, stuck, whatever you want to call it, on an ex boyfriend.  I know a girl who went out with the same guy SEVEN TIMES!  And she still “felt bad” for him!  I know she’s not alone on this so if you’re on round three, four, or even just two with the same guy, step into my office.

THE EX RECAP

Recycle woman, I want to ask you to please recap what happened the first time that caused you two to break up.  Now, be honest with yourself, is there a chance that it can happen again?

“Once a cheater, always a cheater.”  Oh how true.  The only thing that can stop a horn-dog in his tracks is a Divine Trainer!  If he hasn’t encountered Him, RUN AWAY without thinking twice!

Maybe it wasn’t cheating, maybe it was too much fighting.  Okay: yes, IF the guy is well-intended and truly cares for you, there is a remedy for this (see “Why men love b****es.” Why this is a lie.”).  HOWEVER, if the fighting has anything to do with some major character flaws on his behalf e.g. lying, cheating, verbal abusing, physical abusing, control issues, jealously issues, DO NOT EVEN TRY WITH THE GUY!  Cut him off!

THE WORLD SHIFT

If you’re thinking about giving an ex another go, chances are you had made him the sun of your universe or have an insecurity issue.  BOTH need changing.

If he was your sun, meaning everything revolved around him, your disposition depended on him etc., stay single.  Don’t give him OR another guy a try.  You have to set your priorities straight.  A guy can never be the epicenter of your world.  He can be a nice addition to your world, but not the object of it.

Who is most important in your life?

The ideal answer to this question is God, then ourselves and then others.  But I know for some of us it’s, “John, Alex, Brian, Juan,” or whoever the dude is, with ourselves last.  For me, I somehow tricked myself into thinking God was important, that since I prayed every day to Him, I loved Him.  But really, my ex Dace was way before God, and I loved him more.  Most of the time when I went to God, it was about Dace!  Sure I’d somewhat pray for my family, but really, the bulk of my prayers had selfish motives.  A few times in our relationship I saw the intervention of God, the gentle knocking on my heart, trying to get my attention.  Heck, I even said aloud once after Dace and I broke up the first time, “God, I think you’re trying to tell me to put You first.” Literally seconds after I said that, Dace told me he wanted to try again. But of course, after we started going out again, God was shoved to the back of the line with only a five-minute, “Hello, can you do this for me?” nightly phone call.  It wasn’t until He intervened two more times that I truly decided to try to get to know Him, to pursue Him like I had so passionately pursued my ex. When I did, He swept me off my feet. Dace was no longer the center of my universe, God was. Funny, after I made that decision, the guy I could only dream about came marching along without me seeking him.

So once you let God show you what He’s got, it’s super easy to fall in love with Him and make Him first place in your life, but loving yourself next–after all the abuse and pain of past relationships–can be a bit more tricky.

A simple remedy: start seeing what God thinks of you. Yes, the Bible is ancient, but when you actually delve into it, you see how relative it is to the here and now.  You discover the value you have as a special creation of God (think about it: God made man first and was like, “Wow, there is obviously something missing here,” and after making YOU, He was completely satisfied with the work of His hands).

God sees you as that necessary missing piece of the world.  When you see all He entrusts you with–the responsibilities and how He commands men to treat you and what He has to say to the man who marries you–you basically feel like Daddy’s little princess that better be treated the way He would treat you or else!

Once you’ve learned to love God and yourself, MAYBE one day things will work out with your ex.  But in most cases, there’s a prince out there waiting to step into your path and rescue you from all the terrible dragons of your past and that guy is definitly worth waiting for.

One of my many heartbreaks: During & After

Aug1

What you are about to read are actual personal blogs and emails of when I was enduring the worst heartbreak I had ever experienced.  You will also be reading entries of when God mended my broken heart.

THE BROKENESS

The time drags on

I was as free as my mind would have me believe

Away to another land…

A place so different…yet so familiar.

I was happy there

But like most things, it came to an end.

And there I was again,

Staring in your eyes.

The days are clear now,

My mind no longer clinging to blurred visions.

You can only hold onto something for so long, until your
hand begins to hurt,

Yet I’m numb to the pain now.

Made strong by the unexpected sameness of that foreign
place.

And here we are.

Here I am.

As always.

Love, is meant to be shared…

And now again, the time passes

As I once and for all

Slowly drift away.

———————————

I’m sorry I held on so long.
I see that you’re happy. You found someone else. So I’m letting go. I only wish
I didn’t try again and go into this so blindly. I fooled myself into believing
you still loved me, taking your indirect response to when I said to you that after all this
time you still love me, as a yes. I didn’t consider it might mean a no, you
just didn’t want to say that because it would hurt me. I wish I didn’t believe
I had a chance. I guess losing me isn’t as great as a loss to you as it would
be if you lost her. That thought kills me, even though I don’t know all that
she’s done for you, I know all that I’ve done…I guess it’s just hard to
understand because I haven’t gotten over you. I guess if you get over someone,
it is easy to let them go. What does it matter if they’re in your life or not?
Maybe someday I‘ll feel like that too. I hope you don’t get angry with me, although
I honestly feel like you just might not…getting angry would mean you cared. And
my hopes for that are a little more than low. If you really care about someone,
you fight for them. Well, I feel like my fights over. I lost. I was trying to
be your friend, but I must admit the thought that after a while that might
change, was a strong motivation. Now that that motivations lost, it would be a
lot harder. So, I don’t think I can or we should be friends. Either way, it won’t
be much of a loss for you. Maybe when I’ve reached that point of not caring for
you in that sense anymore, I can be. I hate being selfish, I was really trying
not to be, no longer overstepping the boundaries, holding back from touching
you, holding you. I wasn’t even thinking about the fact that although I couldn’t,
someone else was able to. Knowing that information now would be too much. I
hope you can understand.

———————————

I wish things could be
different.

I wish it didn’t have to be
this way.

I wish you wouldn’t make it
harder.

I wish this was easier.

I wish I could be with you.

I wish we didn’t have to let
go.

I wish you wouldn’t act on
your emotions.

We both have to be alone.

I wish I could have kissed
you goodbye.

I wish I could have hugged
you one last time.

I wish I would have stayed in
your arms longer.

I wish I never needed you.

Maybe the tides can turn.

Maybe the wind will change.

Maybe when I’ve learned to
only need Him,

Maybe when I’ve finally put
Him first…

Who knows…

One can wish, right?

We somewhat know what the
future holds.

I wish it didn’t matter.

I wish we could have tried
anyways and been together until we really had to say goodbye.

I wish I never saw the pain
in your eyes.

I wish I never felt it when I
was in your arms.

I wish you never told me how
it felt when you kissed me.

It made my chest burn and the
blood rush to my head.

I wish I was never addicted
to you.

I wish I never cared so much.

I wish I could have put God
first

because maybe then we wouldn’t
be in this mess.

I wish you knew you’re not
the only one who’s hurt.

I wish I could have learned
this lesson sooner.

I wish I didn’t still have
this tiny hope.

I wish you still didn’t have
a piece of me.

I wish this won’t take too
long.

Maybe then I can be a part of
your life again.

Only if I love Him first…

I wish you knew how blinded
my love for you made me.

I really believe I put you
above Him.

Love that true can be
dangerous.

I wish you’d understand He
must come first.

I wish you wouldn’t be angry
with me.

I wish you knew how what you’re
doing is jabbing the knife in deeper and deeper.

I can only wish you care.

I can only wish you wouldn’t
twist the knife.

I wish I can look into your
eyes.

Now when I think of you I see
the last time I peered into your face.

It hurts.

I wish the last look was a
smile.

I wish we could someday be
together.

But He’ll never let it happen
if we don’t both put Him first.

And maybe even if we do, it
won’t happen.

But
it’s worth a try

******************************

THE WHOLENESS

I don’t hate. I only love. I
don’t regret. I understand. I forgive. I pray.

Be positive.

Have hope. Have faith. Have
love.

I am, and always will be,
here for you.

***********************

I honestly see the world so
differently.

I see people differently.

I don’t think the way I used to.

I don’t judge the way I used
to.

I don’t hate.

Ever Since I drew near to Him, really allowed
Him (Jesus), to come inside; He’s changed my mind and my heart.

But only for the better.

I thought taking a shower
alone with lights low was the closest thing to complete peace I’d ever get.

But I never knew the peace He
can give me.

I thought those intimate moments I spent with
my ex were the closest feelings to love I’d ever feel.

But
I didn’t know the love He can give me.

**********************

As my eyes rest on the eyes
of a dream,

My heart skips a beat and I
have to remind myself to breathe.

Unbelievingly soaking in a
reality that’s surreal.

Hard to accept something so
wonderful didn’t stem from my unconscious.

But then it’s easy to accept
he shouldn’t be such a wonder,

For although my mind couldn’t
invent such a blessing as he,

The Hands that created him
are in the business of making miracles.

**********************

I’ve come to realize, not only by experience, but by
the experiences of others as well, that love without God, is tainted. There’s
always something wrong. Very wrong. And if not seemingly very wrong, then
something just isn’t right. There’s this missing piece. And what’s sad and very
tragic about this is a lot of us know it. How many times have I heard, “love
sucks,” or “love hurts”? Thing is, it isn’t supposed to suck or hurt. But too
many of us don’t know this. So, the majority of us simply settle. We’re either
constantly getting into fights with the person we’re in a relationship with,
verbally abusing each other, sometimes even getting physical, and we think, “this
is as good as it gets.” Cursing at each other, lying, playing games with one
another, being negatively physical towards each other, using each other; it’s
tainted. The body, heart, and mind were not meant to be abused.

Some say they’re merely putting up with the person’s faults. But if you had God, you wouldn’t
have to. I’m not saying there won’t be trials, but with God, respect, care,
trust, empathy, understanding, simply comes natural to a relationship. You find
yourselves striving to please each other; wanting to express your love for the
other person as much as possible. Simply connecting on a level that far
surpasses any level a mere physical relationship can take you. Not that the
physical side of a relationship is unimportant, but it’s the least important.
Physical beauty eventually fades, physical mobility eventually disintegrates.
Then what’s left after the sexual part of your relationship has come to a major
slow down or complete stop? Would you still yearn and love the person as much
as you did while you were so physically engaged?

God starts off with the spiritual first. And that’s where true love begins, resides, and lasts until
the end. When two souls know they were molded to compliment the other, sex isn’t
what reveals that. It’s when you get to know each other, your true selves,
which can only be discovered through a relationship with God, is this discovery
made. To many of us, sometimes romance movies can seem so unrealistic. We find
ourselves wishing we were that lucky guy or girl, or saying to ourselves, “I
wish there was a girl/guy like that out there.” The characters and the story
are almost perfect. They always meet by “fate” and end up falling in love and
finding the other to be perfect for them.

The amazing thing is: God’s love stories are even more unreal and perfect than any screenwriter or novelist’s imagination. When I hear the stories of how Christians met their husband or
wife in comparison to people who are in a relationship and just believe in God
or don’t even believe in Him, I am further convinced at just how true love
without God is tainted. Yes, I’m saying even if you believe in God, you’re
relationship is not what it can be. It’s one thing to believe in Him, but it’s
a whole ‘nother ball park when you have a relationship with Him. Relationship?
you might ask.

Well, God is known as “The Father.” The obvious reason being, He
created us. But He’s not only called our Father because He created us, but
because He does everything else dads are supposed to do: love us, guide us,
teach us and gently discipline us. He does all of these things and more. So
when you have tapped into the Being that literally is love and the creator of
it, only then are you truly experiencing all that is was created to be. Without
Him, you have the copy of love, the imitation. The tainted, beat up one the
world offers you. They come in all different forms, I’ve mentioned a few of
them, but I’ll mention them again: the abusive love; verbally/physically, the
love blinded by sex; the lust for one another’s body and the way you make each
other “feel” the tricky love where you play games with one another to hook
each other, then there’s simply those who are in a relationship because for the
most part, they do get along and have a lot in common. But ask yourselves if
you haven’t already, “is this really as good as it gets?”

I guarantee you, although you may not share the same beliefs, the fact of the matter is, it can
get better. Way better. Even if you think you’re in a great relationship. That’s
just because you’ve never tasted what a relationship where God’s the foundation
and comes first is like. It really is a fairy tale, unreal, like a dream. He
finds this amazing person for you, that not only in the present, but in the
long run will compliment you and help you with your purpose; be that extra
support so many of us want and need. This person is better than any dream guy
or girl you’ve created for yourself. And if you’re already in a relationship
and you find God together and place Him as the guide for your relationship, you’ll
be molded to fit each other (mainly if you’re already married), or if you’re
just boyfriend and girlfriend, you go your separate ways and find that other
person you’re supposed to be with (not always. He can make it work with the two
of you. Sometimes it takes one or both of you to come together to find Him, hence
why not all Christian relationships work. Just because both people are
Christian doesn’t mean they’re made for each other. My pastor went through four
amazing Christian women but with each one something was missing and God was
saying, “nope, it’s not her,” until finally he laid eyes on the woman he
predicted he’d someday marry, and sure as heck, they did and she was what he’d
been praying for and more. I’m writing this because I just may have found that
person God created for me. Maybe I’m wrong, I am only human, but I do know that
so far, the “coincidences,” everything we have in common, how we even came
together, how much of a dream and unreal this guy is, he’s everything I’d ask
for in a guy and more. And it’s amazing how God was at work in our relationship
even before we met face to face…

 

Break-ups and the road to healing

Jul20

I don’t need to explain break-ups or the heart-breaks they bring.  So let’s cut to the chase and talk about how we can get our broken-hearts mended again.

STEP ONE:  CRY OUT FOR HELP

     Sometimes, when we experience heart-break, we shut ourselves out from the world and lock ourselves inside a bubble of pain.  Doing this is potentially fatal.  If it doesn’t cause death in the literal sense it can cause death to other things:  certain aspects of your personality, your dreams, your desires, current friendships etc.  You have to cry out.  But don’t do so horizontally, cry out vertically.  When you’re down, the best place to look is up.  “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.” (Psalm 34:18)  Test God if you doubt this.  I guarantee if you cry out to Him in the humbleness of your heart, He will answer.

STEP TWO:  GET SUPPORT

     Family is great, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.  Don’t surround yourself with “friends” that aren’t helping you grow.  When you’ve hung out with the same people for a couple of years and you’re still doing the same things, something is wrong.  They aren’t growing up and neither are you.  Some people you have to cut.  It doesn’t matter how much fun you have with them or how long you’ve known them.  This is about you growing for the better and getting healed.  Doing the same things isn’t going to change your situation.  You have to change your surroundings, the things that have influence on you, if you want change.   Pray about good friends being placed in your path.  People who will love you and invest time in you and care for you, pray with you, encourage and build you up, not keep you stagnant.  If opportunities arise, go for it.  If someone invites you to a church or home Bible study, go for it.  You never know what amazing friends you’ll meet.

STEP THREE:  STAY CONNECTED

     Once you’ve been blessed with the right people, stay connected to them.  Continue hanging out with them, talking to them on the phone, facebooking, whatever.  Just stay connected.

STEP FOUR:  NEVER LOOK BACK

     Don’t be surprised if after all this happens, or even when it starts to happen, your ex or whatever it was that broke your heart before the healing began, pops up again to say hello.  If it does, don’t look back.  Turn the other cheek and keep on walkin’ honey.  That ex will promise not to break your heart again, but don’t believe it.  Don’t even answer the phone!  If they’re persistent, CHANGE YOUR NUMBER.  Seriously, you cannot fall for that again.  Let your new support know if you’re finding it challenging to turn away from the past.  Allow them to help you and to remind you how far you’ve come and to not throw it away for another broken heart.  You’re worth more, remember that.  You’re a princess and you weren’t brought into this world to get your heart trampled on by men.  You were placed here to be loved and to love in return.  To love God first and foremost, and then to love people.  If you have a desire to also love and be loved by a man in specific, God will send Him your way when the time is right.  You don’t have to worry or carry around binoculars anymore.  God’s got ‘em.  Put Him first and watch how everything else falls into place.  A princess being carried in the chariot of the mightiest King, allowing Him to lead the way.  It’s a beautiful place to be.