Your conscience: Don’t do it! You know this is wrong.
Your body: But it feels so good! You know you want to.
Your conscience: You’re going to regret it.
Your body: Just this once, I won’t do it again.
And the winner is…
In the above situation, how many times has your body [flesh] won? Be honest with yourself. Okay, now that you’re being real, I will be too: you’re not alone. We women are extremely emotional beings. In many circumstances, we lack just as much self-control as men, if not more. We let our emotions run wild and our actions run right along with them. You may not want to, but try and remember when you lost your virginity. Did you question if you should? Were you unsure as to whether is was right or wrong? Did you ever find yourself making excuses as to why it was okay? Or maybe it wasn’t planned; how did you feel after the fact? Did you regret it? Did you question if it was the right thing to do? I’m going to pause for a moment because I may be writing to a victimized woman. If you were, none of these questions apply to you. What that person did to you wasn’t your fault. You are still valuable, you are still beautiful (“Wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.”-Psalm 51:7) Now, back to you ladies who chose to lose it: if you answered yes to any of those questions, I’m speaking to you.
In most cases, if you lost your virginity, but now you’re with a different guy, you’re still having sex. Maybe your mentality is, “Well, I already lost it so why stop now?” or “This guy is different” or “I feel loved when I do” or the pain of it not working out with the first guy you gave yourself to has you thinking carelessly e.g. “I’m not worth waiting for now.” Let’s break it down:
1.) ”I already lost it so why stop now?”
It’s proven scientifically that the more partners you have the less your brain secretes oxytocin (a chemical that causes a woman to want to bond more with her partner). I.e., when you finally settle down and get married someday, the ability to bond with that special man is damaged.
Question: Why do our own brains, the most important muscle in our bodies, where all the decision making and thought processes come from, prohibit us from enjoying sex with more than one person?
There’s a book called, “For young women only” and in it they ask guys the questions we ladies want to know the most. Here’s a survey question:
“If you and your partner move to a sexual relationship, even if you loved her, would you (or did you) ever find yourself wondering whether you could totally trust her?”
64% of guys said, “Yes, I would (or did) find myself wondering.” Only 36% said they didn’t.
Raise your hand if you like having trust issues in a relationship!
2.) ”This guy is different.”
Question: Did you ever think that about the guy you lost it to?
3.) ”I feel loved when I do.”
Here’s another survey question from the book, “For young women only”:
“Whether or not you are currently involved with a girlfriend, if you were to be in a heavy make out situation with a willing partner who was not a long-term girlfriend, what would you primarily be feeling?”
Only 36% said, “How much I love her,” the other 64% said, “How good this feels.”
This is what one of the guys themselves said: “Girls use sex to get love, and guys use love to get sex.”
One more survey question: ”Does moving to a sexually active relationship mean that you want to marry this girl or make a significant life commitment to her?”
66% of guys said No.
4.) ”I’m not worth waiting for now.”
This is the last thing I’ll quote from the book:
“I’d like to marry a virgin, but seeing purity of heart is most important to me. Everyone makes mistakes…I just want to be some girl’s hero, even if she’s totally blown it. That’s how I want to treat my future wife.”
This guy is not impossible for you to have. I have one and I know plenty other women who have ‘em too. We’re not any better or more special than you. How we got men who valued us and chose to wait for us and love us, despite our past, was because we came to the point where first and foremost, our love for God grew in a way where He was sufficient. I don’t know what you think about God or what you’ve heard about Him, but He is the greatest Lover there is. His love and passion for us runs so deep that He, if we want Him to, will pour His love on us so completely that we won’t need a guy to feel loved. He’ll satisfy our heart’s deepest cry and then, just because we’ve let Him and grew to love Him in return, He hand-picks a guy and sets up a plan of meeting where we don’t even have to go on EHarmony to find him. That’s what happened to me. Don’t get me wrong, my husband is wonderful, I couldn’t even dream him up (although I did dream of him), but he does not hold a candle to the God who loved me first. I pray with these blogs you will understand your value and worth, won’t settle for less and realize how much you’re loved, no matter where you’ve been or where you’re at now. God bless,