Archive | January 2012

“You’re not the same man I fell in love with.”

Jan30

There’s a strange phenomenon that happens to many couples after they get married. They both change.

Sometimes, it’s more sudden than one would expect. It can happen as soon as the day after the honey moon. Suddenly, something happens; there’s some struggle some issue that arises. Fights can happen because of it, distance, coldness, loneliness. I would argue that as opposed to the, ‘Well, I’ve got her now so to heck with all the romance,’ mentality, something spiritual is at work the moment you say, ‘I do.’ Yes, something very spiritual, indeed.

First, what is marriage? The first marriage ever instituted was that of the famous Adam and Eve. Who came up with the idea? God. But ‘member what happens very shortly after they’re marriage? (Trumpet) Satan enters the picture.

See, marriage is a holy union, a spiritual union. Something happens when you commit your life to one person. It’s something God approves, something He created and what’s Satan’s mission? To corrupt everything God has made. He hates God so anything God does, he wants to destroy. When a couple gets married, they’ve (most often unknowingly), signed up for some serious spiritual war fare. Don’t believe me, just look at the stats for divorce rates. It’s not a coincidence that Christians have about the same divorce rate as non-Christians. Marriages are hard enough to begin with because it’s two sinners that are selfish and really love themself trying to share life with someone just as selfish and in love with themself in hopes that they’ll bring joy to one another and help one another get through life. Now imagine the many people who try to do the whole marriage thing without God, the One who came up with the idea in the first place. (Really, how many people actually read what the Bible says about marriage and then try and apply it? Not even many Christians due, hence the similar divorce rates). Then again, to top it off, here comes the serpent, desiring to, ‘Steal, kill and destroy,’ all that God has made. With these factors, the odds of a marriage lasting or at least doing it’s job (supporting, loving and serving another person for life), are extremely low.

So what am I saying? When you get married, your husband is the same man you fell in love with. Only difference is, Satan has been on his back (and your’s), like never before and since he’s not extremely connected to God and depending on Him to help him be the husband he should be, he’s starting to get beat down. He’s the man you loved, but just going through a war that he’s losing since he’s not connected to his commander and hence has no plan of action on winning the battles of marriage. He’s a lost soldier, fighting this war without a gun and without the wisdom of his commander. And chances are, you are too.

So here’s the good news: now that you know the real enemy isn’t your husband, but rather the devil himself you can stop nagging your husband to be affectionate and/or helpful or whatever else you loved about him before that he’s not doing anymore. Now, you can start fighting off the enemy. Now, instead of complaining to your girl friends, you can start praying for your husband and your marriage.

Get connected to the Commander. You can read and discover what the Bible has to say about marriage, but trust me, unless the literal Spirit of God (aka the Holy Spirit), is in you, you won’t be able to do the things it says. So you ask for God’s strength, for His Spirit to help you (which, by the way, is the sole purpose of the Spirit God sends), but you can’t do this without first asking for forgiveness—Hold up Natasha, forgiveness for what? I’m the victim here, my husband’s a jerk! I would say God’s the victim here.

Ever lie?

Ever take something that didn’t belong to you, even if it was small? Aka, steal?

Ever use God’s name as a cuss word when you were angry? (Blaspheme)

Ever lust?

If you said no to these, congratulations, you and Jesus are the only perfect people to ever walk this earth.

Okay, so now do you see why you have to ask God to forgive you? You’ve messed up, just like we all have. You’ve sinned, yes sinned, against God’s law, the perfect law you and I cannot keep. Good news: Jesus was perfect and after He lived a sinless life He died guiltless, for you and for me so that we can reconnect with God. He loves you, yes. But He cannot forgive you if you don’t realize you need to be forgiven. Then the last part: repent. (Oh boy she’s gettin’ preachy on us). I use the term repent ’cause too many people think, ‘All I have to do is say sorry and God will forgive me.’ What if someone purposefully punched you in the nose and then said sorry. And then did it again, but they said sorry. Then they did it again and said, ‘I’m sorry.’ And again. You get it? Constantly saying sorry isn’t enough to free you from your guilt. You have to turn away from your sin (repent), and run to God. Does that mean all Christians are sinless, definitely not (and if you ever meet one who says they are, they’re lying and as the Bible says, ‘The truth is not in them.’), but it does mean now that you’ve trusted in Jesus, God forgave you, and gave you His Spirit to help you overcome your sin so you’ll still mess up, but you’ll mess up less and will live a more enjoyable guiltless life because you sin a lot less than when you did before you accepted Jesus.

So after this, there’s lots of hope for you and lots of promises. Start reading what the Bible says about marriage and praying for God’s Spirit that is now in you to help you make the best of your marriage and He will. Oh, how He will.

God bless you. -Natasha

 

A young man shares his views on sex: Ladies, a must see!

Jan18

Ladies, this video is a must-see. This is from “the wolve’s” mouth. A guy talking about how he views sex now and how he used to see it. Ladies, prepare to be blown away!



Husbands: Want to win your wive’s hearts back?

Jan3

Is it really necessary to say we women are the most emotional creatures on the planet? We’re just pent-up with emotions. Thanks to our extra dosage of estrogen and hormones, the ugly lady in red who visits us every month and our innate understanding. It’s in our DNA to be emotional. It’s just a by-product of our “I need to be loved” design.

All this to say: yes, love is a commitment. We know when you commit your lives to us you love us, but there is an emotional aspect of love that simply cannot be forgotten or ignored.

Your once loving and respectful wife being more like a resentful witch? Nagging, complaining, cold, distant sexually? Here’s the answer: her need for emotional release/satisfaction is not being met.

See, when you were dating you were Casanova. You had the romance turned up high. You made her feel your love. But now, as the stresses of marriage come into play: paying extra bills, providing for not just yourself, but your wife and family as well, has got you probably without even realizing, emotionally disconnected from your wife.

You see, you used to spend hours talking with her, taking her out, getting her little things that lit her up. To go from that to basically a kiss goodbye and a kiss hello from work is like taking cocaine away from a daily user. [Sorry, ladies for comparing our need for love to a drug addiction, but you must agree it’s true.)

So gentleman reading this, your wife still loves you, but she may have fallen out of emotional love with you. And this, is dangerous. Just as she holding out in the bedroom is dangerous.

I agree that we wives should appreciate and consider how hard our husbands work. That it’s simply in your blood to want to work hard and provide, to be successful. That the work of your hands is where you find most of your purpose and even identity, but we’re the “damsels in distress.” The princesses held captive in a tower that need rescuing.

Remember how much you love being our knight in shining armor, our hero. This is your opportunity to step up and become that daring prince of valor our hearts fell for once again. Reignite the fight in you. Look at your build. Naturally, you’re bigger and stronger than us (get over it feminists. It does not mean they are superior, simply different. By the grace of God this world is not filled with all women or all men because if it was, it’d be a disaster).

Fight for your wife’s heart! You know she’s not really a wicked witch. You didn’t fall in love with a nagging, complaining, bitter woman. You fell in love with a princess that adored you and made you feel like you could conquer anything. She was your very own cheerleader. No woman made you feel like she did. She is still that girl! But she’s locked in a tower, waiting for her courageous prince to return.

So go! Win her heart back! Surprise her with flowers at her job or on your lunch break. Leave her a quick love-note in the morning. Take time to stare into her eyes before you fall asleep. Take a few extra moments when you kiss her, cradle her face in your hands as you once did. Look her in the eyes when you say, “I love you.”

Watch how just these small bites of romance melt her heart and see your princess return.

For the knights rocking serious armor with lots of strength and valor, I dare you to go the extra mile, through that patch of thorns and get even more romantic. You’ll get her back sooner and you’ll be extra blessed ;) .