Archive | November 2011

Princess, gotta man who’s afraid of marriage?

Nov28

I’ve met several girls who have been waiting for their man [or should I say little boy] to propose. Five, six, even seven years! They’re just hoping someday he pops the question. I have some bad news. He’s not. And if he does, it’s probably because of lots of subconscious pressure on your part. Number one, in this man’s mind, why should he propose? It’s not like anythings going to change once you get married: you’re already having sex and you already live together. You’re basically married already right? Oh but you understand better than he. You know it’s not the same. There hasn’t been a magical day where you get to wear your dream crown and look the best you ever will in your life, have everyone you know and love gathered on your behalf, you haven’t said the precious vows of commitment, you haven’t signed any legal papers legitimizing you’re a couple. You don’t have that pretty kept woman ring on your finger. Marriage would be different. Marriage would cause more security in your heart. Being his wife would give you the confidence being his girlfriend simply cannot. Being married would cause the idea of pregnancy to be a lot more comforting.

Marriage is something you’ve dreamed of, but your man doesn’t seem to share the same ideals.

If he’s afraid of the commitment of marriage or is giving you some other excuse for not proposing  yet, tell him, “Okay, that’s fine.” And then set boundaries. Let him know you’re not going to live with him anymore (yup, move back in with mommy or if you have a decent job, get a roommate). And then tell him you want to wait to be abstinent until the day you’re married. See what happens. If you’re afraid he’s going to leave you, then let him. He wasn’t as in love with you as you thought. And trust me, you do not have to settle for a guy who doesn’t love you as much as he loves himself. There are men who can love you the right way and with the right amount. If you don’t believe that, read some of my blogs on just how invaluable you are, princess. My goodness, if you only knew.

Summation: Chances are, your boyfriend will not propose to you if you continue to play fake-marriage and stay in the same household and give him all of you (your body). He has no motivation, nothing to look forward to except more responsibility and restraints. As your boyfriend, he can kick you out oh so easily and dump you for the next chick without having to stand before a judge. If you want to live in that instability for the rest of your life, be my unfortunate guest. But if this blog has got you thinking, go through with the thought. Put what I said into action and see what happens. If you end up single, good for you. He wasn’t worth it to begin with. Remember this: any guy can have sex with you, but not just any guy can wait for you. My husband waited for me for over a year and a half. We got married and on our wedding night he got a gift well worth waiting for. He enjoys me so much more and appreciates and respects me all the more because he waited for me. Trust me hon’: what you got, is worth waiting for. If you don’t think so, pray. Ask God to reveal how important you are and to help you see His unbelievable love for you. With lots of love,

<3 Natasha

Object of sexual abuse, to a Princess of incalculable worth (Spoken Word Poem)

Nov16

Although there were times where it should have/could have happened, I have never been sexually abused. But I wrote this after witnessing an extremely sexual spoken word poem by a woman that was very graphic and self-degrading. It made me wonder why she had become that way. Not that being sexual is bad, but outside of marriage it is. And she basically objectified herself so it moved me to write this.

 

Yeah, you see;

The doves on my chest, the curves on my waist, down to the slopes of my hips and then, the thickness of my thighs.

Yes every inch of me perfectly penciled out for the sketchpad in your mind.

This drawing doesn’t even need to be that descriptive for you to get an image, a vision of you on top of me.

Or would you rather a queen to sit on that throne?

Freeze.

A little girl, alone in her house with her uncle; lying down, pretending to be asleep believing the lie that she’ll be protected by her dreams.

The knob turns, her heart skips a beat,

it’s just a few seconds ’till he’s by her feet.

He breathes, the warm air coating her neck,

she cries, knowing it’s not over yet.

A rugged hand covers her mouth now the stench of alcohol permeates her breath.

He loosens his belt as he takes her on a ride from earth to hell.

Freeze.

I bite my lip, you wink your eye

there’s only one thought on your mind, and I don’t stop to ponder why,

knowing there’s a tiny voice inside that just…might…

You drop me off, I invite you in.

Who said on the first night you can’t let a guy swim?

Skip the drinks, you’ve had your share,

straight to the bedroom ’cause I’m already sore from the stairs;

clothes off in seconds we’re bare–

Whats his name again?

Screw it, who cares.

You leave.

Only to call a few more times when you want a quick fix.

Yes, thats all I am to you:

a slut, a whore, a bitch.

And when I think about that it suddenly hits me:

My body’s not a temple it’s a frisbee;

flung into the mouths of dogs and then left slobbered on and messy,

I realize: damn I’m empty.

Sex isn’t pleasure its abuse

when we take out of the marital context and misuse.

STDS, AIDS, abortion and rape are all the consequences of our dire mistakes.

“Be safe” is what they preach,

when “be pure” is what they really should teach!

For God made Eve for Adam not Lisa, Maria, Teresa, and Tia.

For therefore a man should leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife,

and they shall become

one

flesh.

I have heard and found it to be true,

the Father can cleanse you of any sin,

so choose forgiveness now and finally walk away from this battle with Satan and win.

watch the video of this spoken word poem.

http://youtu.be/VqR7Vw8wECw

Can your affection be bought?

Nov1

A guy flashes some big bills, rocks a car that costs the same amount as an apartment, only dines at expensive restaurants, dresses in Armani Exchange; is this enough to buy your affection?  Is he kind:  not really.  Is he caring:  not much.  Does he treat you with respect:  not neccassarily.  If this is you, honey, I’m preachin’ to you!

There was a woman who came into the restaurant the other night where I work as a greeter, and she was with this Scrooge-faced man who–when she tried to put her arm around him–shoved her off for who knows what reason.  She just smiled and played off his rude reaction.  She then gave his arm a hug before quickly letting go and peering at her menu.  It was sad, I can’t describe the image as well with words, but man, I felt bad for her.  She was a beautiful woman and seemed very sweet, and this guy was all on his smart phone half the time, not really engaging her.  She appeared to be more of an accessory than a girl he admired.

“But Natasha, you’ve only seen them together once.”  Either way, I know of girls who are with guys that treat them indifferently and the girl is all hung up on the dude.  Why be with someone who doesn’t treat you with love and appreciation?  Why must you settle for a guy who doesn’t know how to love a woman or is too self-centered to consider the idea?

“How precious is Your steadfast love, O God! The children of men take refuge and
put their trust under the shadow of Your wings.”-Psalm 36:7

“But God shows and clearly proves His love for us by the fact that while we
were still sinners, Christ died for us.”-Romans 5:8

“But God–so rich is He in His mercy! Because of and in order to satisfy the
great and wonderful and intense love with which He loved us.” -Ephesians 2:4

This is the way God loves you and this is the way He calls for you to be loved:

“And walk in love, [esteeming and delighting in one another] as Christ loved us
and gave Himself up for us.”-Ephesians 5:2

“Love one another with brotherly affection [as members of one family], giving
precedence and showing honor to one another.”-Romans 12:10

“Love does no wrong to one’s neighbor [it never hurts anybody]. Therefore love meets all the requirements and is the fulfilling of the Law.” Romans 13:10

“I give you a new commandment: that you should love one another. Just as I have loved you, so you too should love one another.”-John 13:34

Here’s the clincher:

“Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily. It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God’s love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong].” 1 Corinthians 13:4-5

If you’re with someone who does not love you as previously described, you need to get with it and get OUT! I’m not saying there’s a perfect man out there (no one is perfect), but I am saying there’s a man out there who will try his best to love you the way God calls him to.  But before you can get that kind of prince, you have to give your heart to the only King who will never reject it or abuse it.  Don’t waste another day of pain and sad hopes for something more.  God is more, and He’s waiting to give you everything you need.

                                                        With love,

                                                                         Natasha