Archive | August 2011

Ladies: Enough is Enough!

Aug31

An older, but still relevant post. Girls, get it together and know your worth! Stop settling for less, when God has the best waiting for you.

 

The other day I was in the restaurant (Houston’s where I used to work) and there were two young women there, maybe twenty-five at most, standing by the bar.  They were dressed provocatively and an older man, maybe fifty-five or so was at the bar, flirting with them.  He was rubbing his hand on one of their backs and a few minutes later when I looked again [they were standing at the bar stools right by the front desk], he had his hand on the other girl’s butt.  Later on, I saw them at a table with another older man.

Admittedly, I’ve seen this several times being that I work at a high-end restaurant and it never fails to sadden me.  Here these young ladies are, beautiful on the outside, yes, but of so much more value and worth than what they’re putting out there on display for the world to see.  They’re not many years older than me, yet why are they with these old horn-dogs and not a handsome young prince?  Do they not care for one?  Or have they, somewhere along the way, been so bruised by toads, they just gave up on finding a prince?  What if someone told them the way God sees them?  What if someone could give them a small taste of the amazing plans God planned for them before they were even born?  Would it change the course of their life?

If you’re reading this and you are one of those young ladies, maybe you’re not dating old horn-dogs, but you’ve definitly been settling for the wrong guys or selling yourself short and going as low as flat out losers, or even guys that just think they’re somebody and treat you like a rap-star groupie.  If that’s you, please listen to this.

Whatever is good and perfect comes down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the heavens. He never changes or casts a shifting shadow. He chose to give birth to us by giving us his true word. And we, out of all creation, became his prized possession.-Jame 1:17-18

For thus says the LORD of hosts: “He sent Me after glory, to the nations which plunder you; for he who touches you touches the apple of His eye. -Zechariah 2:8

I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well.-Psalm 139:14

Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes. God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure.-Ephesians 1:4-5

Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are?-Matthew 6:26

Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that in due time He may exalt you. Cast the whole of your care [all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns] once and for all on Him, for He cares for you affectionately and cares about you watchfully.-1 Peter 5:6-7

For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.-Jeremiah 29:11

There’s too many verses to put in this blog that describe the great value God sees in you, the depth of His rich love toward you, the awesome plans and promises He holds out for you as a gift.  We get so caught up sometimes.  This world is overflowing with lies.  The media saturates our mind, clouding our vision, distracting us from truth.  It tells men to degrade us, to use and abuse us, and tells us women to take the abuse and like it.  We have walked so far away from the original plan of God for our lives that depression is at its peak.  But the wonderful thing about this time is it’s the season for grace.  As long as you are alive, you have a chance to change the course of your life.  You don’t have to accept the abuse anymore.  You don’t have to settle another day.  You can discover your worth, you can discover true love.  God is waiting for us all to run into the shelter of His open arms.

Girl I’m talking to, He yearns to call you Daughter.

He desires to make you royalty.

You were made to be a princess.

You were made to be loved.  Don’t settle for less.

May you run to the arms that long to cradle you, to protect you, to care for you.

You’re a lovely temple.

You’re a work of art, created by the Master Artist of the entire universe.

Be beautiful, be joy-filled, be changed, be saved, be forgiven, be renewed, be loved.

Blast from the Past

Aug27

If you’re a serial dater like I once was, you may have a knack for re-dating an ex.  My expert advice on the subject:  DON’T DO IT!

First of all, if it didn’t work out before, what makes you think it’ll work out now?  Too many of us are hooked, snatched, stuck, whatever you want to call it, on an ex boyfriend.  I know a girl who went out with the same guy SEVEN TIMES!  And she still “felt bad” for him!  I know she’s not alone on this so if you’re on round three, four, or even just two with the same guy, step into my office.

THE EX RECAP

Recycle woman, I want to ask you to please recap what happened the first time that caused you two to break up.  Now, be honest with yourself, is there a chance that it can happen again?

“Once a cheater, always a cheater.”  Oh how true.  The only thing that can stop a horn-dog in his tracks is a Divine Trainer!  If he hasn’t encountered Him, RUN AWAY without thinking twice!

Maybe it wasn’t cheating, maybe it was too much fighting.  Okay: yes, IF the guy is well-intended and truly cares for you, there is a remedy for this (see “Why men love b****es.” Why this is a lie.”).  HOWEVER, if the fighting has anything to do with some major character flaws on his behalf e.g. lying, cheating, verbal abusing, physical abusing, control issues, jealously issues, DO NOT EVEN TRY WITH THE GUY!  Cut him off!

THE WORLD SHIFT

If you’re thinking about giving an ex another go, chances are you had made him the sun of your universe or have an insecurity issue.  BOTH need changing.

If he was your sun, meaning everything revolved around him, your disposition depended on him etc., stay single.  Don’t give him OR another guy a try.  You have to set your priorities straight.  A guy can never be the epicenter of your world.  He can be a nice addition to your world, but not the object of it.

Who is most important in your life?

The ideal answer to this question is God, then ourselves and then others.  But I know for some of us it’s, “John, Alex, Brian, Juan,” or whoever the dude is, with ourselves last.  For me, I somehow tricked myself into thinking God was important, that since I prayed every day to Him, I loved Him.  But really, my ex Dace was way before God, and I loved him more.  Most of the time when I went to God, it was about Dace!  Sure I’d somewhat pray for my family, but really, the bulk of my prayers had selfish motives.  A few times in our relationship I saw the intervention of God, the gentle knocking on my heart, trying to get my attention.  Heck, I even said aloud once after Dace and I broke up the first time, “God, I think you’re trying to tell me to put You first.” Literally seconds after I said that, Dace told me he wanted to try again. But of course, after we started going out again, God was shoved to the back of the line with only a five-minute, “Hello, can you do this for me?” nightly phone call.  It wasn’t until He intervened two more times that I truly decided to try to get to know Him, to pursue Him like I had so passionately pursued my ex. When I did, He swept me off my feet. Dace was no longer the center of my universe, God was. Funny, after I made that decision, the guy I could only dream about came marching along without me seeking him.

So once you let God show you what He’s got, it’s super easy to fall in love with Him and make Him first place in your life, but loving yourself next–after all the abuse and pain of past relationships–can be a bit more tricky.

A simple remedy: start seeing what God thinks of you. Yes, the Bible is ancient, but when you actually delve into it, you see how relative it is to the here and now.  You discover the value you have as a special creation of God (think about it: God made man first and was like, “Wow, there is obviously something missing here,” and after making YOU, He was completely satisfied with the work of His hands).

God sees you as that necessary missing piece of the world.  When you see all He entrusts you with–the responsibilities and how He commands men to treat you and what He has to say to the man who marries you–you basically feel like Daddy’s little princess that better be treated the way He would treat you or else!

Once you’ve learned to love God and yourself, MAYBE one day things will work out with your ex.  But in most cases, there’s a prince out there waiting to step into your path and rescue you from all the terrible dragons of your past and that guy is definitly worth waiting for.

The Never-ending Battle between Spirit and Flesh

Aug13

Your conscience:  Don’t do it! You know this is wrong. 

Your body:  But it feels so good! You know you want to.

Your conscience:  You’re going to regret it.

Your body:  Just this once, I won’t do it again. 

And the winner is…

In the above situation, how many times has your body [flesh] won?  Be honest with yourself.  Okay, now that you’re being real, I will be too:  you’re not alone.  We women are extremely emotional beings.  In many circumstances, we lack just as much self-control as men, if not more.  We let our emotions run wild and our actions run right along with them.  You may not want to, but try and remember when you lost your virginity.  Did you question if you should?  Were you unsure as to whether is was right or wrong?  Did you ever find yourself making excuses as to why it was okay?  Or maybe it wasn’t planned;  how did you feel after the fact?  Did you regret it?  Did you question if it was the right thing to do?  I’m going to pause for a moment because I may be writing to a victimized woman.  If you were, none of these questions apply to you.  What that person did to you wasn’t your fault.  You are still valuable, you are still beautiful (“Wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.”-Psalm 51:7)  Now, back to you ladies who chose to lose it:  if you answered yes to any of those questions, I’m speaking to you.

In most cases, if you lost your virginity, but now you’re with a different guy, you’re still having sex.  Maybe your mentality is, “Well, I already lost it so why stop now?” or “This guy is different” or “I feel loved when I do” or the pain of it not working out with the first guy you gave yourself to has you thinking carelessly e.g. “I’m not worth waiting for now.”  Let’s break it down:

1.)  ”I already lost it so why stop now?”

It’s proven scientifically that the more partners you have the less your brain secretes oxytocin (a chemical that causes a woman to want to bond more with her partner).  I.e., when you finally settle down and get married someday, the ability to bond with that special man is damaged.

Question:  Why do our own brains,  the most important muscle in our bodies, where all the decision making and thought processes come from, prohibit us from enjoying sex with more than one person?

There’s a book called, “For young women only” and in it they ask guys the questions we ladies want to know the most.  Here’s a survey question:

“If you and your partner move to a sexual relationship, even if you loved her, would you (or did you) ever find yourself wondering whether you could totally trust her?”

64% of guys said, “Yes, I would (or did) find myself wondering.” Only 36% said they didn’t.

Raise your hand if you like having trust issues in a relationship!

2.)  ”This guy is different.”

Question:  Did you ever think that about the guy you lost it to?

3.)  ”I feel loved when I do.”

Here’s another survey question from the book, “For young women only”:

“Whether or not you are currently involved with a girlfriend, if you were to be in a heavy make out situation with a willing partner who was not a long-term girlfriend, what would you primarily be feeling?”

Only 36% said, “How much I love her,” the other 64% said, “How good this feels.”

This is what one of the guys themselves said: “Girls use sex to get love, and guys use love to get sex.”

One more survey question:  ”Does moving to a sexually active relationship mean that you want to marry this girl or make a significant life commitment to her?”

66% of guys said No.

4.)  ”I’m not worth waiting for now.”

This is the last thing I’ll quote from the book:

“I’d like to marry a virgin, but seeing purity of heart is most important to me.  Everyone makes mistakes…I just want to be some girl’s hero, even if she’s totally blown it. That’s how I want to treat my future wife.”

This guy is not impossible for you to have.  I have one and I know plenty other women who have ‘em too.  We’re not any better or more special than you.  How we got men who valued us and chose to wait for us and love us, despite our past, was because we came to the point where first and foremost, our love for God grew in a way where He was sufficient.  I don’t know what you think about God or what you’ve heard about Him, but He is the greatest Lover there is.  His love and passion for us runs so deep that He, if we want Him to, will pour His love on us so completely that we won’t need a guy to feel loved.  He’ll satisfy our heart’s deepest cry and then, just because we’ve let Him and grew to love Him in return, He hand-picks a guy and sets up a plan of meeting where we don’t even have to go on EHarmony to find him.  That’s what happened to me.  Don’t get me wrong, my husband is wonderful, I couldn’t even dream him up (although I did dream of him), but he does not hold a candle to the God who loved me first.  I pray with these blogs you will understand your value and worth, won’t settle for less and realize how much you’re loved, no matter where you’ve been or where you’re at now.  God bless,

Natasha

“Why men love b**ches.” Why this is a lie.

Aug10

Just ask a guy, “Do you love B words?” Tell me how many of them say yes. Girls that try to control a man or dominate a man, they will get harsh resistance or create a submissive whimp. Both extremes are undesirable. When we disrespect a man by acting like we’re PMSing, we pierce him in the deepest place of his heart. A man’s ultimate need is to be respected. When we deny him of that respect, we mine as well spit in his face and call him a loser. Choosing to refrain from respecting a man is the equivalent to if a man refused to love you. To put it plainly, if you try to get him to satisfy your deepest need [love] by denying him of his [respect], you’re doomed to failure. The sum of your relationship will be defined by fights, frustration, disappointment, doubt, confusion, pain and resentment.

If you don’t want any of the above, stay tuned.

HOW TO GET A MAN TO LOVE YOU – NOT JUST BY WORD, BUT BY DISPLAY

“R.E.S.P.E.C.T.” – You know the famous song by Aretha Franklin.  What you may not know however, is that is was originally written by a man.  So, the primary ingredient in getting a man to love you in actions is to respect him.  How to do this is key to know.  Every woman knows how to love, but most all have difficulty displaying respect.  Frankly, we never even think of the word in regards to our men.  I never once thought about respect in regards to Jonathan [my husband] before I read this book “Love & Respect” by Dr. Emerson Eggrichs.  Suddenly, it was as if the scales had fallen from my eyes.  I discovered, not only is showing my man respect somewhat unnatural, but displaying disrespect was more natural and a lot easier to do.

LEARN HOW TO SPEAK WITH RESPECT

POP QUIZ:  Have you ever said something to your man, either in public or in private and suddenly see his face fall, have him snap at you, fall silent, become cold or walk away?  Congratulations, you made him feel disrespected.

We ladies, seriously have to guard our tongues.  We’re super open, which can be a good thing, but it can also be a disaster.  For instance, when we’re hurt by our man, feeling neglected or unloved, we tend to let him know.  Now, it’s not wrong to let him know, BUT you can be wrong in the way you say it.

EXAMPLES:  THE WRONG WAY

The Accuser

“Michael, you haven’t come to see me in like two days, what have you been doing? Are you too busy for me or something? What’s wrong with you? Tell me!”

The Complainer

“Michael, I haven’t seen you in two days. I think it’s totally rude. You always made so much time for me before, but now it’s like you could care less and you’re super busy. I feel like I don’t mean crap to you.”

The Cry baby

Says the same thing the complainer does, but instead of attitude, she uses tears.

EXAMPLE:  THE RIGHT WAY

“Hey Michael. We haven’t seen each other in a few days and I feel unloved. Did I do something to make you feel disrespected?”

When you calmly address the issue and use the term “I feel” instead of accusing him, you keep your man  calm and collected and more open to hearing you out.  When you throw the term “disrespected” in there, you let him know you’re not pointing any fingers, that you simply want a solution that works for the both of you.

LEARN HOW TO ARTICULATE RESPECT

Your man needs to know what it is that you respect about him.  Don’t just assume he knows, tell him.  Think about some things you find respectful and share that with him:  his work ethic, his promptness, his reliability, his intelligence, his creativity, his compassion, his strength.  This simple act of telling him what you respect about him can radically change his countenance and character and your relationship.  We, in the area of encouragement, have the most power than anyone in our man’s life.  Whoever said, “Behind every great man there’s a great woman,” is oh so wise.  There should be one that says, “And behind every loser there’s a nagging woman.” When we talk-down to our men, we stomp on their hearts and crush their potential for greatness.  Let’s start being their cheerleaders and watch them blossom into the wonderful heroes they were created to be.

LEARN HOW TO SHOW RESPECT

If we only speak with respect, but don’t act with it, we don’t fool anyone, especially not our prince.  For example, you tell your man how much you respect him, but then flirt with the guys at your job or even worse, his own friends.  Or, you tell him you respect him, but then try to control what he does.  Telling and showing go hand in hand.  We cheerlead them on as we give them the freedom to pursue their dreams.  We tell them we honor their intelligence while letting them figure out solutions to practical problems (even if we already know a good solution) and letting them think for themselves.  I’ve been guilty of saying, “Yeah that’s a good idea,” yet implementing my own.  That’s not displaying true respect.  Men were made to be heroes, knights in shining armor.  They were built bigger and stronger and more masculine for a reason.  We can’t fight all their battles for them or we emasculate them.  We also have to let them fight some of our’s on our behalf so they can receive the joy of feeling needed and appreciated.  I’m burdened by women who step in front of their men and say, “I got this, baby, get behind me.”  When we do that, we’re telling them they aren’t needed.  Men have this natural inclination to lead, protect and accomplish.  We can be the princesses they do those things for or we can be lone cowgirls, taking down bad guys by our lonesome with no handsome prince to snatch us up in his chariot and carry us away into an adventure.

The key to unlocking the valiant knight in your man is respect.  You decide what you want to be to your man and he’ll play the role that coincides with it.  Choose wisely.

Songs to inspire hope and healing for your hurting heart

Aug8

Self-worth, your value (struggling with self-image)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IwtcwQwgdsA&ob=av2e

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Onq4KpdZhdQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9X6h6QiFqi4&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WmcVWJ7Dnyw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mBcqria2wmg&feature=related

Overcoming guilt

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ur6Zznc407U&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gJJ5NSDiYRg

Finding forgiveness

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BFUHrXfuNU4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OLy-B9LuqMo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6CUGTIWCFyo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mmF-s9Dd83g

Here’s some GENTLEMEN lettin’ the LITTLE BOYS know how to treat a princess!

Aug6

“There could never be a more beautiful you
Don’t buy the lies disguises and hoops they make you jump through
You were made to fill a purpose that only you could do
So there could never be a more beautiful you”

“Little girl twenty-one the things that you’ve already done
Anything to get ahead
And you say you’ve got a man but he’s got another plan
Only wants what you will do instead”
Well little girl twenty-one you never thought that this would come
You starve yourself to play the part
But I can promise you there’s a man whose love is true
And he’ll treat you like the jewel you are”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oK4jdexjgz4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JRK7VLTTrZQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XNqQUojBg84&ob=av2e

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VjKUGF-QiTA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5hQK6GIrpYU&ob=av3e

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kI1lrmMWwq0

One of my many heartbreaks: During & After

Aug1

What you are about to read are actual personal blogs and emails of when I was enduring the worst heartbreak I had ever experienced.  You will also be reading entries of when God mended my broken heart.

THE BROKENESS

The time drags on

I was as free as my mind would have me believe

Away to another land…

A place so different…yet so familiar.

I was happy there

But like most things, it came to an end.

And there I was again,

Staring in your eyes.

The days are clear now,

My mind no longer clinging to blurred visions.

You can only hold onto something for so long, until your
hand begins to hurt,

Yet I’m numb to the pain now.

Made strong by the unexpected sameness of that foreign
place.

And here we are.

Here I am.

As always.

Love, is meant to be shared…

And now again, the time passes

As I once and for all

Slowly drift away.

———————————

I’m sorry I held on so long.
I see that you’re happy. You found someone else. So I’m letting go. I only wish
I didn’t try again and go into this so blindly. I fooled myself into believing
you still loved me, taking your indirect response to when I said to you that after all this
time you still love me, as a yes. I didn’t consider it might mean a no, you
just didn’t want to say that because it would hurt me. I wish I didn’t believe
I had a chance. I guess losing me isn’t as great as a loss to you as it would
be if you lost her. That thought kills me, even though I don’t know all that
she’s done for you, I know all that I’ve done…I guess it’s just hard to
understand because I haven’t gotten over you. I guess if you get over someone,
it is easy to let them go. What does it matter if they’re in your life or not?
Maybe someday I‘ll feel like that too. I hope you don’t get angry with me, although
I honestly feel like you just might not…getting angry would mean you cared. And
my hopes for that are a little more than low. If you really care about someone,
you fight for them. Well, I feel like my fights over. I lost. I was trying to
be your friend, but I must admit the thought that after a while that might
change, was a strong motivation. Now that that motivations lost, it would be a
lot harder. So, I don’t think I can or we should be friends. Either way, it won’t
be much of a loss for you. Maybe when I’ve reached that point of not caring for
you in that sense anymore, I can be. I hate being selfish, I was really trying
not to be, no longer overstepping the boundaries, holding back from touching
you, holding you. I wasn’t even thinking about the fact that although I couldn’t,
someone else was able to. Knowing that information now would be too much. I
hope you can understand.

———————————

I wish things could be
different.

I wish it didn’t have to be
this way.

I wish you wouldn’t make it
harder.

I wish this was easier.

I wish I could be with you.

I wish we didn’t have to let
go.

I wish you wouldn’t act on
your emotions.

We both have to be alone.

I wish I could have kissed
you goodbye.

I wish I could have hugged
you one last time.

I wish I would have stayed in
your arms longer.

I wish I never needed you.

Maybe the tides can turn.

Maybe the wind will change.

Maybe when I’ve learned to
only need Him,

Maybe when I’ve finally put
Him first…

Who knows…

One can wish, right?

We somewhat know what the
future holds.

I wish it didn’t matter.

I wish we could have tried
anyways and been together until we really had to say goodbye.

I wish I never saw the pain
in your eyes.

I wish I never felt it when I
was in your arms.

I wish you never told me how
it felt when you kissed me.

It made my chest burn and the
blood rush to my head.

I wish I was never addicted
to you.

I wish I never cared so much.

I wish I could have put God
first

because maybe then we wouldn’t
be in this mess.

I wish you knew you’re not
the only one who’s hurt.

I wish I could have learned
this lesson sooner.

I wish I didn’t still have
this tiny hope.

I wish you still didn’t have
a piece of me.

I wish this won’t take too
long.

Maybe then I can be a part of
your life again.

Only if I love Him first…

I wish you knew how blinded
my love for you made me.

I really believe I put you
above Him.

Love that true can be
dangerous.

I wish you’d understand He
must come first.

I wish you wouldn’t be angry
with me.

I wish you knew how what you’re
doing is jabbing the knife in deeper and deeper.

I can only wish you care.

I can only wish you wouldn’t
twist the knife.

I wish I can look into your
eyes.

Now when I think of you I see
the last time I peered into your face.

It hurts.

I wish the last look was a
smile.

I wish we could someday be
together.

But He’ll never let it happen
if we don’t both put Him first.

And maybe even if we do, it
won’t happen.

But
it’s worth a try

******************************

THE WHOLENESS

I don’t hate. I only love. I
don’t regret. I understand. I forgive. I pray.

Be positive.

Have hope. Have faith. Have
love.

I am, and always will be,
here for you.

***********************

I honestly see the world so
differently.

I see people differently.

I don’t think the way I used to.

I don’t judge the way I used
to.

I don’t hate.

Ever Since I drew near to Him, really allowed
Him (Jesus), to come inside; He’s changed my mind and my heart.

But only for the better.

I thought taking a shower
alone with lights low was the closest thing to complete peace I’d ever get.

But I never knew the peace He
can give me.

I thought those intimate moments I spent with
my ex were the closest feelings to love I’d ever feel.

But
I didn’t know the love He can give me.

**********************

As my eyes rest on the eyes
of a dream,

My heart skips a beat and I
have to remind myself to breathe.

Unbelievingly soaking in a
reality that’s surreal.

Hard to accept something so
wonderful didn’t stem from my unconscious.

But then it’s easy to accept
he shouldn’t be such a wonder,

For although my mind couldn’t
invent such a blessing as he,

The Hands that created him
are in the business of making miracles.

**********************

I’ve come to realize, not only by experience, but by
the experiences of others as well, that love without God, is tainted. There’s
always something wrong. Very wrong. And if not seemingly very wrong, then
something just isn’t right. There’s this missing piece. And what’s sad and very
tragic about this is a lot of us know it. How many times have I heard, “love
sucks,” or “love hurts”? Thing is, it isn’t supposed to suck or hurt. But too
many of us don’t know this. So, the majority of us simply settle. We’re either
constantly getting into fights with the person we’re in a relationship with,
verbally abusing each other, sometimes even getting physical, and we think, “this
is as good as it gets.” Cursing at each other, lying, playing games with one
another, being negatively physical towards each other, using each other; it’s
tainted. The body, heart, and mind were not meant to be abused.

Some say they’re merely putting up with the person’s faults. But if you had God, you wouldn’t
have to. I’m not saying there won’t be trials, but with God, respect, care,
trust, empathy, understanding, simply comes natural to a relationship. You find
yourselves striving to please each other; wanting to express your love for the
other person as much as possible. Simply connecting on a level that far
surpasses any level a mere physical relationship can take you. Not that the
physical side of a relationship is unimportant, but it’s the least important.
Physical beauty eventually fades, physical mobility eventually disintegrates.
Then what’s left after the sexual part of your relationship has come to a major
slow down or complete stop? Would you still yearn and love the person as much
as you did while you were so physically engaged?

God starts off with the spiritual first. And that’s where true love begins, resides, and lasts until
the end. When two souls know they were molded to compliment the other, sex isn’t
what reveals that. It’s when you get to know each other, your true selves,
which can only be discovered through a relationship with God, is this discovery
made. To many of us, sometimes romance movies can seem so unrealistic. We find
ourselves wishing we were that lucky guy or girl, or saying to ourselves, “I
wish there was a girl/guy like that out there.” The characters and the story
are almost perfect. They always meet by “fate” and end up falling in love and
finding the other to be perfect for them.

The amazing thing is: God’s love stories are even more unreal and perfect than any screenwriter or novelist’s imagination. When I hear the stories of how Christians met their husband or
wife in comparison to people who are in a relationship and just believe in God
or don’t even believe in Him, I am further convinced at just how true love
without God is tainted. Yes, I’m saying even if you believe in God, you’re
relationship is not what it can be. It’s one thing to believe in Him, but it’s
a whole ‘nother ball park when you have a relationship with Him. Relationship?
you might ask.

Well, God is known as “The Father.” The obvious reason being, He
created us. But He’s not only called our Father because He created us, but
because He does everything else dads are supposed to do: love us, guide us,
teach us and gently discipline us. He does all of these things and more. So
when you have tapped into the Being that literally is love and the creator of
it, only then are you truly experiencing all that is was created to be. Without
Him, you have the copy of love, the imitation. The tainted, beat up one the
world offers you. They come in all different forms, I’ve mentioned a few of
them, but I’ll mention them again: the abusive love; verbally/physically, the
love blinded by sex; the lust for one another’s body and the way you make each
other “feel” the tricky love where you play games with one another to hook
each other, then there’s simply those who are in a relationship because for the
most part, they do get along and have a lot in common. But ask yourselves if
you haven’t already, “is this really as good as it gets?”

I guarantee you, although you may not share the same beliefs, the fact of the matter is, it can
get better. Way better. Even if you think you’re in a great relationship. That’s
just because you’ve never tasted what a relationship where God’s the foundation
and comes first is like. It really is a fairy tale, unreal, like a dream. He
finds this amazing person for you, that not only in the present, but in the
long run will compliment you and help you with your purpose; be that extra
support so many of us want and need. This person is better than any dream guy
or girl you’ve created for yourself. And if you’re already in a relationship
and you find God together and place Him as the guide for your relationship, you’ll
be molded to fit each other (mainly if you’re already married), or if you’re
just boyfriend and girlfriend, you go your separate ways and find that other
person you’re supposed to be with (not always. He can make it work with the two
of you. Sometimes it takes one or both of you to come together to find Him, hence
why not all Christian relationships work. Just because both people are
Christian doesn’t mean they’re made for each other. My pastor went through four
amazing Christian women but with each one something was missing and God was
saying, “nope, it’s not her,” until finally he laid eyes on the woman he
predicted he’d someday marry, and sure as heck, they did and she was what he’d
been praying for and more. I’m writing this because I just may have found that
person God created for me. Maybe I’m wrong, I am only human, but I do know that
so far, the “coincidences,” everything we have in common, how we even came
together, how much of a dream and unreal this guy is, he’s everything I’d ask
for in a guy and more. And it’s amazing how God was at work in our relationship
even before we met face to face…